Long ago, when I worked in operations, I aspired to transition into human resources, but a higher-up told me it wasn’t possible. 

I didn’t have the “right” experience, education, or network—or so they said. 

I could have said, “Okay, I’ll just stay here,” but instead, I contacted someone I knew.

The woman I reached out to had started in HR on the same day I began my operations role; we had met and gotten to know one another during orientation.

She was an HR VP who happily agreed to become my mentor. Her guidance and support helped me transition from operations to HR, transforming my career and life. Even today, besides career coaching, I still do some HR consulting work, an essential part of my heart-based career development. 

In fact, I owe today’s HR consulting work to yet another former colleague I worked with over ten years ago. This former colleague started a boutique agency to match HR consultants to projects and contacted me on LinkedIn after seeing one of my posts. We met over Zoom, I joined her agency, and now I get to work on cool HR projects, some of which even include bringing heart-based career development to corporate teams!

But it wasn’t just those two women who impacted my career. So many of our beloved career-change-seeking community members come from referrals and word of mouth. Identifying every other person who has impacted my career trajectory would be impossible. None of what I do or the success I’ve experienced would be possible without genuine relationships. 

Reflecting on my experiences made me think, “How much impact do relationships have on career success?” 

I did some research, and it turned out…a lot. 

Study after study agrees: The key to career success—no matter what you do—is cultivating connections and community. Luckily, this is one of the most natural things humans do, and you can, too (yes, even if you’re an introvert!). Read on to find out how. 

Work Friends: How Relationships At Work Contribute To Professional Growth

Recognizing the power of people and relationships at work changed my perspective on making new professional friends.

Work friends are everything. This is an “if you know, you know” statement, but psychiatrists and social scientists agree. 

According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, an 85-year study of what makes people flourish, connection with colleagues is a key factor in happier, healthier workers.

People who make friends at work are generally more content, collaborate more, and have higher levels of creativity and productivity. One Gallup study found that people who could say, “I have a best friend at work” were likelier to stay in their jobs and put in more effort to do a good job. 

Unfortunately, the number of people with work friendships is shrinking. 

A recent Gallup poll found that only 2 in 10 American workers say they have a “best friend at work”—someone they can confide in about personal, non-work-related matters. 

The reasons people avoid cultivating work friendships are as varied as the humans who have them. Some follow the age-old advice of “keep your head down and do your work.” Others avoid work friendships because they think they’re too contractual, suspecting that the other person only pretends to be their friend because they want something from them. 

While “keeping your head down” can ensure work gets done, it denies you access to a key factor in career progression. Side-eyeing work relationships as suspicious will prevent you from unlocking the proven benefits of authentic relationships. 

Authentic connections cultivate open collaboration, information sharing, and new career opportunities. 

Your Introvert-Friendly Guide To Cultivating Work Friendships  

If the key to progressing in your career is building relationships, that’s often easier said than done as an introvert. 

Here are four ways to cultivate work friendships that will make you happier, healthier, and more productive in your job.

Become a noticer

Pay attention to the people at work who you’d like to get to know better. Notice, perhaps, the personal items they display on their desk, and ask them about it. Most people love to talk about themselves and the things they love. All you have to do is ask the question. 

Quit turning down outings with your colleagues

Look. As a fellow introvert, I know how easily “no” can become an automatic response. Just try saying “yes” once in a while. You work with these people daily, so it’s certainly less scary than going out with strangers. 

Keep being yourself

You shouldn’t have to change who you are at your core to put yourself out there. If you feel you must change who you are, share more than you are comfortable sharing, or compromise your heart-based values, you will gain little from the relationships you build. The real benefits come from cultivating authentic—not artificial—friendships at work. 

Open the door for others

Is someone else being excluded? Consider which team members aren’t often asked for input or invited to social events. If you’re already part of the in-group, try opening that door and becoming the connection someone else needs.

Community: How New Connections Can Contribute To Professional Growth

While work friends can ensure your happiness and success in your current workplace when it comes to changing careers, seeking new opportunities, or following your heart-based career goals, connecting outside your immediate circle of colleagues and friends is critical. 

Research shows that with a strong, diverse network, you’re better able to access new information, stay on top of trends, and generate better ideas. With access to perspectives outside your own and your industry, you can problem-solve through a new lens, improving your ability to innovate and advancing your professional development. 

The old saying goes, “It’s not what you know; it’s who you know.” But beyond that, I would add: “It’s not who you know; it’s who knows you.”

A strong network helps ensure someone will remember and contact you when new opportunities arise. Best of all, professional connections often develop into long-lasting personal friendships.

Your Introvert-Friendly Guide To Branching Out And Forming New Connections

Many people find the word “networking” cringey. Still, networking shouldn’t mean attending an event in a hotel conference room full of strangers while wearing uncomfortable clothes and a lanyard/name tag combo…when all you really want to do is order room service and catch up on your Netflix shows!

Heart-based career planning is an outright rejection of ick-inducing, fake networking. True networking is connection-forming and never forced.  

What might that look like? Here are six of our favorite ideas:

If you think something nice about someone, say it right then

Relatedly, if you see something that reminds you of someone, tell them. Communicating your kind thoughts aloud is a really easy way to stay connected and build genuine relationships with others. 

Take a friend

Fun fact: You’ll never find me attending an in-person event alone. I’ll always find a friend to join me if I can! So, if there’s something you want to do, find someone you know to go with you. 

Remember that networking happens everywhere.

Networking doesn’t have to be in a professional environment. One of our (introverted) Flourish Careers community members shared a story about how she went to her local coffee shop’s craft night and met someone in her desired industry! Just use what you love to meet new people. You never know when it might lead to a conversation, a work opportunity, or even a career change.

Join online communities

The beauty of virtual groups is that you don’t have to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I’m currently in one for an art journaling challenge, and I’ve found that everyone else there agrees on one thing: The space feels fun, safe, and inviting—perfect for cultivating new connections as an introvert. 

Practice outward gratitude

Pay someone a compliment, letting them know how much you appreciate them or their work. This is one of the easiest ways to build a relationship—as long as it’s authentic! 

Use holidays as an excuse

If it’s a holiday, send a note to wish them a happy holiday and let them know what you’re up to. Holidays are a great excuse to keep in touch!

Most Importantly, Keep A Service Mindset

Remember to approach every connection you make with a service mindset. Cultivating relationships is a big-picture action, not a short-term transaction.

Recently, a colleague I worked with more than ten years ago emailed me to share that she had been laid off and was looking for help finding a new job. She reminded me of our work together, shared the kind of opportunity she was looking for, and asked if I could keep an eye out. 

Of course, I remembered her and was happy to help! Our relationship began many years ago, long before this need arose. 

Cultivating relationships is playing a long game. You never know how who you are sharing kindness with today might be able to help you when you need support ten years from now.

Want To Cultivate A Flourishing Community To Help You Shift Careers? We Can Help With That.

A flourishing garden results from interconnected relationships—and a flourishing career is no different. 

At Flourish Careers, we have blended heart-based career planning with community cultivation to create the fertile soil you need to make that career change you’ve been dreaming of.

Check out the Fried to Flourishing Group Coaching Experience to learn more. 

Want More Career Wisdom? Keep Reading

+ Introvert Career Diaries: Interview Strategies 
+ The Acorn And The Oak: What’s The Difference Between Intentions And Goals?
+ Why You Should View Your Career as a Series of Experiences

Connect with Me

For more insider stories, quick tips, and #CareerTalk, I invite you to connect with me on Instagram @flourish.careers.